Who Should Play Agent 47?

First Tim Olyphant, and now Paul Walker. In a cosmic movie making joke, Hollywood has now crossed off the first two placeholders in the top ten "People who shouldn't portray Agent 47" list. Next on the list are Geena Davis and the Asian kid from Temple of Doom.

That's right, the Fast and the Furious guy has been selected to portray video games' coolest gun for hire. Little is known about the movie at this point, but will presumably feature 47 running over his targets in a neon Civic.

Contract LADY killer...right?

Seriously, Hollywood, it's no secret that movies based on video games suck, but does it have to be so blatant? Couldn't we get just a modicum of effort? Could you at least try to mask you thinly veiled scheme to make a quick buck?

Believe it or not, a movie does not need a Hollywood heart throb in the lead role to be successful. I would understand if you were making another Twilight rip off, but this is f**king Hitman! I think it's safe to say that we would prefer someone with a little less hair gel and a little more grit.

So once again, Hollywood is shrugging off the core audience of people who would be interested in this movie, and instead catering to mass appeal. After all, they are still making Fast and the Furious sequels and those movies are cleaning up. I'm still formulating my theories on that phenomenon, but so far they mostly involve mind control and cross roads deals.

Now I can sort of understand what they were thinking when they cast Olyphant. 47 is a man without emotion. Olyphant is an actor who is incapable of showing emotion. On paper it seemed like a perfect match, but when I watched the original movie I just kept asking myself how the least interesting character in Deadwood lost his hair. You can imagine my disappointment when I realized the movie wasn't about time travel and chemotherapy.

Is he street racing a Prius?

So naturally, the infinitely creative movie makers of the world are starting to realize that the Fast and the Furious movies are loosing steam and they need a new franchise to stick Paul Walker into. He's just too darn cute to waste, after all. With the release of the newest game, and the widely popular trend of making money without actually writing anything, Hitman seems like a natural choice. It will almost certainly top the box office and spawn countless mind numbing sequels.

But perhaps I'm being too hard on the movie making industry. After all it must be exhausting raking in boat loads of cash, while simultaneously doing nothing, ever. So, in an unprecedented act of generosity, I've decided to do some of the tedious legwork(ya know...thinking) that the writers, directors, and producers of our modern film studios simply can't be bothered with. Here are just a few relevant actors who would be better suited to portray our beloved Agent 47. And the first person who mentions Jason Stathom is getting shivved with a salad fork.



Bryan Cranston

This one seems like an obvious choice. Between Malcom in the Middle, and Breaking Bad, Cranston has shown his versatility as an actor. He is adept at conveying subtle yet complex emotions through facial expressions alone, which is integral when playing a man who says very little. With the final season of Breaking Bad airing later this year, the timing would have been perfect to nab the overnight household name.


Sean Bean

No stranger to portraying dark, brooding, three dimensional characters, Bean is largely know in the U.S. as the guy who died in that movie, and that other movie, and the other one, oh and also in that show. Bean has appeared in many geek-centric projects, from his roles in Lord of the Rings and Silent Hill, to the voicing of Martin Septim in Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. I can't help but think there might be a fan boy hidden behind his rugged gaze. When it comes to portraying an icon, I'll take a kindred spirit over a paycheck actor any day. Besides, I'd really like to see him live through something.

Aaron Eckhart

Shave the head, and get rid of the goofy grin, and this guy is Agent 47 incarnate. Another versatile actor, Eckhart has shown that he is adept at portraying everything for the a**hole to the love interest. Enough time has passed that audiences won't instantly see Harvey Dent, and an action oriented role would be a nice change of pace. He's not an actor you would immediately consider for the role of 47, which is a good thing. This sort of casting choice could help bring a fresh perspective to the character.


David Bateson

Last, but certainly not least. Who better to portray Agent 47 than Agent 47 himself? The South African actor has voiced 47 in every Hitman game to date, and was the physical model for the characters design. When IO Interactive created Agent 47, they literally just created this guy. Aside from voice acting, Bateson is an experienced screen actor. Considering that the guy has spent more than a decade voicing the character, you can't tell me he wouldn't jump at the chance of portraying him on screen.


Do you think Paul Walker is up to the task? Who do you think should play the Agent 47?


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